What do you do when you have a prideful spouse?

When dealing with a prideful spouse, focus on humble, direct communication using “I feel” statements, set appropriate boundaries, and model the humility you want to see—while also examining your own heart for pride and seeking godly counsel or professional support when patterns persist.

Pride is one of the most destructive forces in marriage because it prevents the vulnerability and mutual submission that two becoming one flesh requires.

Proverbs 16:18 warns that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall,” and in marriage, pride manifests as defensiveness, refusal to apologize, blame-shifting, or an unwillingness to hear feedback.

Research from the Gottman Institute identifies contempt—often rooted in pride—as one of the top predictors of divorce.

When your spouse’s pride creates distance, start by examining your own heart first (Matthew 7:3-5), ensuring you’re not responding with pride yourself or misinterpreting confidence as arrogance.

Address prideful patterns with specific, loving confrontation rather than general criticism.

Use gentle “I feel” statements that focus on impact rather than character attacks: “I feel hurt and distant when my concerns are dismissed” rather than “You’re too proud to admit you’re wrong.”

Ephesians 4:15 calls us to speak truth in love, which means timing, tone, and clarity matter.

If your spouse becomes defensive, avoid escalating—instead, pause the conversation and return to it when emotions settle.

Pride thrives in power struggles, so refuse to engage in who’s right battles and focus instead on understanding and connection.

Consider whether professional Christian counseling might help break entrenched patterns, especially if pride prevents meaningful communication or reconciliation.

A trained counselor can identify whether what appears as pride might actually be fear, shame, or past wounds manifesting as self-protection.

Continue praying for your spouse (1 Peter 3:1-2 speaks to the power of godly example over words) while also setting boundaries around disrespectful behavior.

Remember that lasting change happens through consistent modeling of humility, accountability when you fall short, and creating a safe environment where your spouse can lower defenses without losing dignity.

Pride often softens when met with grace rather than judgment.

Follow our Christian nonprofit here: Marriage Sharing

Follow my personal profiles here and get easy and practically applied solutions to common marriage problems:

Instagram: Married_as_one

Fb: Felice Mathieu

Twitter: Felice Mathieu_

Get your copy of 20 Common Marriage Problems Workbook .

Need a Christian Speaker that’s also a marriage counselor? Book me for(virtual options available):

• Panel Discussions
• Seminars
• Marriage Conferences 
• Workshops