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Holy Conversations | 5 Jesus-Centered Tips for Stellar Communication in Relationships

rules of communication in a relationship

The Importance of Communication in Relationships



Communication is the backbone of any successful relationship. Without effective communication, the foundation becomes weak, leading to misunderstandings, frustrations, and even the breakdown of the relationship itself. It’s like trying to build a house without a solid structure – it simply won’t stand the test of time.

In the context of relationships, communication is not just about exchanging words; it’s about truly understanding and connecting with your partner. It’s about being able to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs, while also being receptive to what the other person has to say. When both partners actively engage in open and honest communication, it creates a safe and nurturing environment for growth and intimacy.

Renewing Your Mind: It’s about “We” not “Me”

One of the key principles of Jesus-centered communication is shifting from a self-centered mindset to a mindset that prioritizes the collective well-being of the relationship. It’s about moving from “me” to “we.” This requires a conscious effort to put aside personal agendas and truly listen to your partner without judgment or defensiveness.

When you approach communication with a “we” mindset, you are more likely to seek understanding, compromise, and find common ground. It allows you to see the bigger picture and work together towards shared goals. It’s about recognizing that your partner’s thoughts and feelings are just as valid as your own, and that the success of the relationship is a joint responsibility.

Fusing Different Worldviews

In any relationship, there are bound to be differences in perspectives, beliefs, and values. These differences can either become a source of conflict or an opportunity for growth. Jesus-centered communication encourages the latter.

Rather than trying to change or convince your partner to adopt your worldview, focus on understanding and respecting their perspective. Take the time to learn about their background, experiences, and the values that shape their beliefs. This will not only foster empathy and compassion but also allow you to find common ground and build a stronger bond.

Remember, it’s not about who is right or wrong; it’s about finding a balance that honors both individuals and strengthens the relationship.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

In the grand scheme of things, many of the issues that couples argue about are relatively insignificant. It’s easy to get caught up in the small annoyances and allow them to escalate into major conflicts. Jesus-centered communication teaches us to let go of the trivial and focus on what truly matters.

Instead of nitpicking and pointing out every little flaw, choose to prioritize love, understanding, and forgiveness. Ask yourself, “Is this issue worth damaging the harmony and peace in our relationship?” Often, the answer will be no. Learn to let go of the small stuff and embrace a more compassionate and forgiving approach to communication.

Have Grace While Change Is Being Worked On

Change is a constant in life, and it’s no different in relationships. As individuals, we are constantly growing and evolving, which means our needs, desires, and expectations may also change over time. Jesus-centered communication encourages us to have grace and patience with our partners as they navigate these changes.

Instead of expecting instant transformation or pressuring your partner to conform to your evolving needs, give them the space and support they need to grow. Understand that change takes time, and it’s a journey that requires both individual and collective effort. Be willing to have open and honest conversations about your desires and expectations, while also being receptive to your partner’s needs.

Remember, the goal is not to change your partner, but to grow together in a way that nurtures the relationship.

Marriage Involves Two Great Forgivers

Marriage is often referred to as a lifelong commitment, and for good reason. It requires a deep level of forgiveness and grace. Jesus-centered communication emphasizes the importance of forgiveness in maintaining a healthy and thriving relationship.

Inevitably, there will be times when you or your partner make mistakes, hurt each other, or fall short of expectations. Instead of holding onto grudges or allowing resentment to build, choose forgiveness. Extend the same grace that Jesus extends to us. Learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, allowing your relationship to heal and grow stronger.

Remember, forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s a continuous practice that requires humility, empathy, and a genuine desire to restore harmony in the relationship.

Seeking Professional Help

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, communication challenges persist, and it becomes necessary to seek professional help. Just as we consult doctors for physical ailments, it’s important to seek the guidance of trained professionals for emotional and relational struggles.

Therapists, counselors, and relationship coaches can provide valuable insights, tools, and strategies to help you improve your communication skills and navigate the challenges in your relationship. They offer a safe and neutral space for both partners to express their thoughts and feelings, facilitating a deeper understanding and connection.

Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you feel stuck or overwhelmed. It’s a courageous step towards healing and growth.

Focus on One New Habit at a Time

Improving communication in a relationship is not about making drastic changes overnight. It’s a gradual process that requires consistent effort and practice. Instead of overwhelming yourselves with multiple changes at once, focus on developing one new habit at a time.

Identify one specific area of communication that you would like to improve and set realistic goals. For example, you may choose to practice active listening by giving your undivided attention to your partner during conversations. Commit to this new habit and make a conscious effort to incorporate it into your daily interactions.

By focusing on one habit at a time, you allow yourselves to build a strong foundation before moving on to the next. Remember, small consistent changes can lead to significant transformation over time.

Pray for Each Other

In Jesus-centered communication, prayer is a powerful tool that can strengthen your relationship and create a deeper spiritual connection. Set aside time to pray together, both individually and as a couple. Pray for guidance, wisdom, and understanding in your communication with each other.

Prayer not only invites God into your relationship but also cultivates a sense of humility and surrender. It reminds you that you are not alone in your journey and that God’s grace is always available to guide and support you.

Make prayer a regular part of your communication routine, and you will witness the transformative power it brings to your relationship.


Effective communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship. By incorporating these Jesus-centered tips into your communication practices, you can create a safe and nurturing environment for growth, understanding, and intimacy. Remember, it’s not about perfection but about progress. Be patient with yourselves and each other as you embark on this journey of improving your communication skills. Together, you can build a strong and resilient relationship that stands the test of time.

If you’re looking to enhance your communication skills and strengthen your relationship, consider seeking the guidance of a professional therapist or relationship coach. They can provide valuable insights and tools to help you navigate the challenges and create a thriving partnership. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support and take the first step towards a more fulfilling and connected relationship.


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