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What Makes a Christian Marriage Toxic: Top 10 Toxic Habits

Christian marriages are meant to be a source of love, support, and spiritual growth.

However, sometimes toxic habits can unknowingly seep in, causing strain and pain within these relationships.

what makes a christian marriage toxic in the bible

In this article, we will explore the top 10 toxic habits that can make a Christian marriage toxic.

From unrealistic expectations to lack of communication, these toxic habits can erode the foundation of trust and intimacy.

With each toxic behavior, the bond between spouses weakens, leading to resentment, bitterness, and even the potential breakdown of the marriage.

Understanding these toxic habits is crucial for married couples, as it enables them to identify and address any areas of concern.

By recognizing these harmful patterns, couples can actively work towards replacing them with healthier alternatives that foster love, respect, and a Christ-centered relationship.

Whether you’re newly married or have been together for years, recognizing and eliminating toxic habits in your marriage is essential for its long-term success.

So, let’s dive into the top 10 toxic habits that can make a Christian marriage toxic and explore ways to cultivate a healthier, more fulfilling marital union.

Lack of Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and it is especially vital in a Christian marriage.

However, a lack of effective communication can quickly breed toxicity within the marriage.

When couples fail to openly express their thoughts, feelings, and needs, misunderstandings and resentment can build up over time.

To combat this toxic habit, it’s important for couples to prioritize communication and create a safe space for open and honest conversations.

This can be achieved through active listening, empathy, and regular check-ins with each other.

By fostering a culture of open communication, couples can address issues as they arise, find common ground, and strengthen their bond.

unhealthy christian marriage

Unresolved Conflicts and Resentment

No marriage is immune to conflicts, but it’s how couples handle these conflicts that determines the health of their relationship.

When conflicts go unresolved, they can fester and breed resentment, creating a toxic atmosphere within the marriage.

To break free from this toxic habit, couples need to learn healthy conflict resolution skills.

This includes active listening, compromise, and a willingness to seek resolution rather than simply “winning” an argument.

Additionally, forgiveness and letting go of past grievances are crucial for healing and moving forward together.

Control and Manipulation

Control and manipulation have no place in a Christian marriage, as they go against the principles of love, respect, and equality.

When one spouse exerts control or manipulates the other, it creates an unhealthy power dynamic that erodes trust and breeds toxicity.

To combat this toxic habit, spouses must recognize and confront any controlling or manipulative behaviors.

This may involve setting healthy boundaries, seeking professional help, or even considering separation if the toxic behavior persists.

It’s important to remember that both spouses should have equal say and autonomy within the marriage.

Lack of Trust and Betrayal

Trust forms the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage.

However, when trust is broken through betrayal, such as infidelity or deceit, it can cause immense pain and damage to the relationship.

The absence of trust breeds toxicity and prevents the couple from fully experiencing the love and intimacy intended for their marriage.

Rebuilding trust after a betrayal is a long and challenging process, but with commitment and effort from both spouses, it is possible.

Transparency, honesty, and accountability are key in restoring trust. Seeking counseling or therapy can also provide guidance and support during this difficult journey.


unhealthy marriage

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Abuse in any form is unacceptable, including emotional and verbal abuse within a Christian marriage.

Toxic habits like name-calling, belittling, and demeaning language have no place in a loving and respectful relationship.

If you or your spouse are experiencing emotional or verbal abuse, it’s crucial to seek help immediately. Reach out to a trusted pastor, counselor, or support network to create a safety plan and develop strategies for healing and moving forward. Remember, no one deserves to be subjected to abuse, and seeking help is a courageous and necessary step.

Neglect and Indifference

Neglect and indifference can silently erode the foundation of a Christian marriage.

When spouses fail to prioritize each other’s emotional, physical, and spiritual needs, it creates a sense of loneliness and disconnection.

To combat this toxic habit, couples must make a conscious effort to prioritize their relationship and invest time and energy into nurturing their connection.

This may involve scheduling regular date nights, engaging in shared activities, and expressing love and appreciation for one another.

By showing up for each other consistently, couples can prevent the toxic habit of neglect and cultivate a thriving marriage.

Financial Dishonesty and Irresponsibility

Financial matters can be a significant source of tension in any marriage, and when financial dishonesty or irresponsibility enters the picture, it can be highly toxic.

Secretly accumulating debt, hiding financial decisions, or failing to contribute to shared expenses can create a breakdown in trust and communication.

To address this toxic habit, couples must commit to open and transparent financial discussions.

This includes creating a joint budget, setting financial goals together, and practicing financial responsibility.

Seeking professional guidance from a financial planner or counselor can also provide valuable insights and strategies for managing finances in a healthy way.

Lack of Intimacy and Affection

Intimacy and affection are crucial components of a healthy Christian marriage. However, when physical and emotional connection wane, it can lead to feelings of rejection and dissatisfaction, breeding toxicity within the relationship.

To counteract this toxic habit, couples must prioritize intimacy and affection in their marriage.

This involves regular physical touch, emotional vulnerability, and creating a safe space for open and honest conversations about each other’s needs and desires.

Seeking guidance from a marriage counselor or attending a couples’ retreat can also provide tools and strategies for enhancing intimacy.

Failure to Prioritize God and Spiritual Growth

In a Christian marriage, prioritizing God and spiritual growth is essential.

When spouses fail to prioritize their relationship with God or neglect their own spiritual growth, it can create a void and lead to a toxic atmosphere within the marriage.

To combat this toxic habit, couples must prioritize regular prayer, Bible study, and worship together. This not only strengthens their individual relationships with God but also deepens their connection as a couple.

Seeking guidance from a spiritual mentor or joining a couples’ Bible study can also provide accountability and support on the spiritual journey.

Healing and Seeking Help for Toxic Habits in Christian Marriages

Recognizing and addressing toxic habits in a Christian marriage is the first step towards healing and restoration.

However, it’s important to acknowledge that breaking free from these patterns may require professional help and guidance.

Seeking counseling or therapy can provide a safe and supportive environment for couples to explore and address their toxic habits.

A trained professional can offer insights, tools, and strategies for healing wounds, rebuilding trust, and cultivating a healthier marital union.

Additionally, involving trusted mentors or seeking guidance from a pastor can provide spiritual support during this journey.


Creating a thriving Christian marriage requires intentionality, commitment, and a willingness to address and eliminate toxic habits.

By recognizing and actively working towards replacing these harmful patterns with healthier alternatives, couples can foster love, respect, and a Christ-centered relationship.

Whether it’s improving communication, resolving conflicts, or prioritizing spiritual growth, every step towards eliminating toxic habits brings couples closer to a healthier and more fulfilling marriage.

Embracing the principles of love, forgiveness, and grace, couples can cultivate a relationship that honors God and brings joy and fulfillment to both spouses.

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